I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
