when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
