she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
