they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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