Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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