Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
