Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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