I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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