i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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