Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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