Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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