Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize