we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
