I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
