Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
