walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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