So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
