I'm drive I can fine osifer
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
