have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
