Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Send help, water and tortillas.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
