peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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