She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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