dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
