I hate your face
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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