6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
