it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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