I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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