too bad you live with your parents still
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
