I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
