Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
