I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
