what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
