saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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