i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize