so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
should my penis look like a turkey
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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