don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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