Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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