Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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