Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it because I queefed?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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