i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
