I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
