I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
