I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
