I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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