I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
