I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
