4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
