Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
