All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
