i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize