wat bout pragnant strippers??
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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