Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
