I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
