god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
