I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
