Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Even my vagina gasped.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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