I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
