hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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