false alarm. still invincible.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
